Meeting the parts that protect us

You probably know it from everyday speech: „part of me wants to quit, and part of me is afraid of the change.” In Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy we take those words entirely seriously — and it turns out to be one of the gentlest and most respectful ways of working with ourselves.

Where the model comes from

IFS was developed in the 1980s by Richard C. Schwartz, a family therapist. Working with clients, he noticed they spontaneously described their inner world as made up of different „parts”, often in conflict with one another. Rather than treating this as a metaphor, he approached the mind as a system — much like a family — in which parts hold roles and influence each other.

The map: parts and the Self

IFS describes a few kinds of parts. Managers handle day-to-day control and safety — the inner critic, the perfectionist, the one who plans and anticipates danger. Firefighters step in when pain becomes too much and put it out fast, sometimes at a cost — through shutting down, bingeing, substances, anger. Beneath them are exiles — young, wounded parts that carry difficult emotions and memories, and that the other two groups work to protect by keeping them out of awareness.

And there is the Self — a core that is not a part. Schwartz describes it through qualities that in English begin with C: calm, curiosity, compassion, clarity, confidence, courage, creativity, connectedness. When the Self „leads”, our relationship with our parts shifts from fighting to listening.

No bad parts

The central premise of IFS — and the title of a well-known book by Schwartz — is this: there are no bad parts. Even a ruthless critic, or the part that numbs and cuts off, is originally trying to protect us, often in a way that made sense long ago. So in IFS we don't fight the symptom or try to „get rid of” a difficult part. Instead we get to know it with curiosity, and ask what it fears and what it guards.

What changes

When protective parts come to trust the Self, they finally allow the exiles to be heard. Those wounded parts can be witnessed and „unburdened” — released from the weight they've been carrying. Symptoms often ease, not because we suppressed them, but because their protective job is no longer needed.

What the research says

IFS grew over many years in clinical practice, and in 2015 it was added to the U.S. registry of evidence-based programmes (SAMHSA's NREPP) — rated „effective” for general functioning and well-being and „promising” for symptoms such as depression and anxiety. This was based on a proof-of-concept randomised trial (Shadick et al., 2013, Journal of Rheumatology): in people with rheumatoid arthritis, working with IFS was associated with improved physical functioning and reduced depressive symptoms. The most consistently replicated effects so far concern depression; larger trials are needed, and some researchers rightly note that „parts” are a model and a way of thinking, not a literal description of the brain.

How I work

In my practice IFS is gentle and unhurried. I don't analyse you „from the outside” — I accompany you as you get to know your own parts with curiosity and learn to be present to them from a place of calm. Your system sets the pace; nothing is forced, and the safety of wounded parts always comes first.

IFS can help with a harsh inner critic, anxiety, a sense of being inwardly torn, the aftermath of difficult experiences, and building a kinder relationship with yourself. If that sounds close to home, you're welcome to get in touch.